The art of letting go
Change requires us to venture into unknown territory that usually comes with doubt, fear and uncertainty. But if we allow ourselves to surrender, we open up space to be more present, bringing a peace of mind and clarity that helps us navigate through the dark and bloom into the light.
I wanted to take a stroll down memory lane as a way to remind myself how liberating it is to let go and empower myself to release the last few strands that I’ve been clinging onto. I hope this resonates with those who are also feeling stuck and serves as an inspiration for us to live more freely.
My first meeting with Death
Two years ago, I blissfully drifted out to the South China Sea. A yacht that sped past abruptly stopped and coursed its way back. The crew and guests onboard worried I was adrift and needed help. Completely oblivious to the changing weather, I dismissed their help and insisted on paddling myself back to the distant land where I had set camp. They reluctantly left, and at that moment, I woke up to my reality: a storm was coming through. I started to paddle.
No matter how fast or slow I went, I couldn’t compete with the moving currents. I abandoned my floaty and tried to swim only to exhaust myself after swallowing mouthfuls of the ocean. I retreated to my float realising that I was adrift (and likely to reach the Philippines in seven days if the currents continued moving in the same direction).
I’ve been practising equanimity, knowing any attempt to cling onto life (i.e. to hold onto our attachments) would only lead to anxiety and suffering. So I slowed my breath, accepting death with each exhalation and easing into my "Cast Away” experience with each inhalation. Then, in the moment of acceptance, out of the blue, a local fishing boat appeared and I wavered my arms and screamed for all the hope in my lungs. After what felt like an eternity, a woman emerged out of the ship’s quarters and caught sight of my desperate call. Her husband retrieved me out of the ocean and they took me back to the beach from where I came.
Surrendering the body
During a recent breath retreat in Costa Rica, I experienced an unforgettable out-of-body encounter where I felt my spirit leaving the body. There was no clock or timer, just my breath calibrating the mind, body and soul into the frequency of the music guiding us through our breathwork. It happened to be quite an emotional journey where I could feel a lot of deep-rooted pain and suffering rise up and out—it felt so liberating.
I felt so light like a feather drifting upwards towards the clouds. I felt my entire physical existence evaporate into the universe when “Hymn To The Soul” came on and it was in this liberated space where I managed to hold my breath for the entirety of the song (5 minutes and 39 seconds), breaking the longest breath retention record I’ve ever held. I have been practising breathwork for the past two years but I’ve never been able to push past a two-minute breath hold; it was the act of surrendering that allowed me to become unbounded and untethered to the physical body in this three-dimensional world and experience the transcendental state of pure consciousness.
The power of letting go
The art of surrendering is an active process of leaning into our fears. A true master of the art knows to let go of attachments (an idea, identity, belief, feeling and object) that keep a person held back. It is in that space where we surrender, something beautiful happens. A gentle force awakens that allows us to tune into the natural rhythm of the universe and thrive with more peace and happiness. We become liberated to make conscious choices that bring us closer to the things that align with our true inner compass.
With those thoughts, I leave you to ponder further with Alan Watts’ “Falling Into Love”:
Well now really when we go back into falling in love. And say, it's crazy. Falling. You see? We don't say "rising into love". There is in it, the idea of the fall. And it goes back, as a matter of fact, to extremely fundamental things. That there is always a curious tie at some point between the fall and the creation. Taking this ghastly risk is the condition of there being life. You see, for all life is an act of faith and an act of gamble.
The moment you take a step, you do so on an act of faith because you don't really know that the floor's not going to give under your feet. The moment you take a journey, what an act of faith. The moment that you enter into any kind of human undertaking in relationship, what an act of faith. See, you've given yourself up. But this is the most powerful thing that can be done: surrender.
See. And love is an act of surrender to another person. Total abandonment. I give myself to you. Take me. Do anything you like with me. See. So, that's quite mad because you see, it's letting things get out of control. All sensible people keep things in control. Watch it, watch it, watch it. Security? Vigilance Watch it. Police? Watch it. Guards? Watch it. Who's going to watch the guards? So, actually, therefore, the course of wisdom, what is really sensible, is to let go, is to commit oneself, to give oneself up and that's quite mad. So we come to the strange conclusion that in madness lies sanity.
The album from my Cast Away experience
Me on my float roughly 20 minutes before the yacht passed and I realised I was adrift.
Roughly where I drifted.
